Goodbyes Are Important…but We Didn’t Know to Say Goodbye
Using creativity and courage to get closure
When many of us packed up mid-March to try to get ahead of the alarming new virus that didn’t yet have a name, we couldn’t begin to imagine the magnitude of what was happening. Had we known, we would have said goodbye. Goodbye to our colleagues, our teachers and students, our therapists and patients, our 8 a.m. baristas and building doormen. Goodbye to our routines, jobs, and life as we knew it.
On Saying Goodbye
Most of us have a sense that goodbyes are important even if we avoid them sometimes because they’re hard or awkward. Saying goodbye allows us to put words to feelings, shape how we remember someone, codify our choices, and frame distinct periods of time. In short, goodbyes give us a sense of closure as we move into the next phases of our lives.
Schwörer, Krott, and Oettingen (2020) found across seven different studies that “well-rounded endings” — those marked by a sense of closure — were associated with positive affect, relatively little regret, and an easier transition into the next life phase.
For example, in one of the studies of exchange students, the more well-rounded the endings at the end of a visit abroad, the more positive the students felt afterwards, the less regret they…
